So today was a Sick Pants day.
It's one of those days when I wake up and say, "I'd like to stay home sick from school today because I feel quite ill, but I cannot miss school because I have to get into college. Oh, the tragedy. So I shall go to school, oh yes, but I will wear the clothes that I would otherwise be wearing if I was staying home."
So yeah, I wore my Sick Pants* today, and I could tell that people were judging me. I'm usually a jeans-wearing person, and these pants are oversized university sweats with extra-fleecy pockets that make my thighs and butt look like they've doubled in size. I have to pull them up past my belly button (typing that word made me smile) just to keep them from dragging under my shoes. But I don't care because it's a Sick Pants day, and they're effing comfy.
*And I mean "pants" in the American sense, not in the British sense.
It was actually quite relaxing. It was like taking a sick day, except instead of staying at home, I went to school. Yeah, I did my work, kinda-sorta. I probably failed my APUSH reading quiz, but whatever.
ADD note: I'm listening to Eddplant's "Picture Unrelated" right now, and even though I've had this album since like the day it was released on iTunes, I still haven't designed my own album artwork for it. I'm such a failure.
It's one of those days when the majority of my Internal Monologue** is filled with swear words. Usually they don't make it to the External Monologue, but today was a Sick Pants day, and therefore those two things were one in the same.
**Am I the only one with an ongoing Internal Monologue? Sometimes I wonder. Do you have one? Tell me in the comments! What does yours sound like? Mine is usually in my own voice, but sometimes it sounds like someone else's voice after I've been talking to them for a while, and it goes through phases of sounding like the Green brothers. Most of the time it's in third person, but occasionally second, and very rarely first. The pronoun "I" just sounds weird in my mind. It seems superfluous to waste time in an Internal Monologue when the "I" should be implied. Is it weird that Virgil has her library card number memorized? she asks herself as she glances down at the card lying next to her keyboard. Maybe she spends too much time on the public library's website. See that random switch of topic? There is no need for transition words in the Internal Monologue! Take that, Mrs. Po Po! I bet she feels defeated. (So the "I" slips in occasionally for simple phrases when Virgil's not actually talking in first person. It's a bit weird like that, kind of like the Aorist tense. What is the point of having an Aorist anyways? What does the word "Aorist" even mean? Is there an Aorist in any other language besides Ancient Greek? See my Internal Monologue is full of questions, and OH NO now this parentheses bit is going to go on forever. That would be awful. You probably have an discomfiting sense of lack-of-closure right now, Virgil definitely does. Okay, this is getting weird, she should just end it.) Wow, Internal Monologue would make a good NaNoWriMo novel. Virgil could keep doing this for days, but then she thinks to herself with a sigh, can a collection of random thoughts from throughout the day really be considered a novel? A novel needs a coherent beginning, middle, and an end, and Rule Number One of the Internal Monologue is that there is no coherency. Do you hear that? It's the sound of background music slowly building inside of Virgil's head, leading up to the climatic point of epiphany, but then she realized that there is none and the music slowly decrescendos but does not cease completely, because the music never really stops, not if you keep listening.
That's what my Internal Monologue is like, in case you were wondering, which you probably weren't. In any case, that's what it's like on a NORMAL day, but since today was a Sick Pants day, it was more like:
Virgil is walking slowly through the hallway, one foot in front of the other, going nowhere in particular unless Latin class counts as someplace particular. Particular is a strange word, does it imply particles? People are annoyed at her for walking slow, and it's funny because usually she's the thirsty one getting stuck behind slow people, what a strange role reversal. She likes this side of it a lot better, shufflin' along, not paying those people any heed. She doesn't give a sh!t. No, sir. Who is this "sir" she is talking to? She just ended a question with a preposition, but she doesn't give a sh!t because today it a Sick Pants day.
I just switched both of the Internal Monologue paragraphs to "small" font, so that they won't seem quite as intimidating, and perhaps to indicate that they're written in a different mood. And I don't mean mood like "I'm feeling blue today," I mean mood like indicative and subjunctive. This is the monologue mood, and the endings are all beginnings and the beginnings are transitions. Did that make sense to you? It wasn't supposed to. The one thing that you should know is that there is NO imperfect, future, perfect, pluperfect, future-perfect, OR aorist (DEFINITELY NOT AORIST) in the Monologue Mood. There is only present. It's like Christmas.
What else was I going to talk about in this post? I had a tentative plan to complain about my life and how busy it is, but I feel like I've done enough of that today. So instead of complaining, I'm going to talk about how awesome my friends are, because House and Momo took it upon themselves to make me feel better today, so they left me a note in Latin Class and they decorated my locker with paper chains, which was very kind and thoughtful of them. My friends are so sweet.
So... this has been a very long and unproductive post by Yours Truly. It's time to go back to my English homework now, which, if I recall correctly, I left off at the Sermon on the Mount. Blessed are the bloggers, for they shall have curly fries.
Peace, guys. May your lives be far less complicated than mine.
DFTBA
Virgil
