"So won't you kill me? So I die happy?"
- Dashboard Confessional, "Hands Down"
Look there. Made it through a week. *Throws confetti* Ahh. [/sarcastic tone {for now}]
Right... might as well get right down to it then. What I learned today... because I am apparently the only one learning anything around here anymore (kidding): If you say almost anything in a confident and convincing enough tone, they'll believe you. It's great.
I. The Mailmen
ONCE UPON A TIME, AHH, there was a mailman. His name was Joseph the mailman. But his friends called him "Sparkly-boo," since he had such a gosh-darn sparkly personality. Or something. Anyway, Sparkly-boo had a BFF who was also a mailman, James. Each Saturday night, Sparkly-boo and James would paint each other's toenails prettyful, sparkly, shiny, stunningly vivid colors. One night, Sparkly-boo was waiting for James to come over. The popcorn steamy, the pillows fluffed, and the music ready to be turned on, Sparkly-boo waited in a lonely silence.
Because Sparkly-boo was getting just a bit anxious, he began talking to his cat, Pumpkin the Cat.
"Pumpkin the Cat, do you think that James will be here soon?" Sparkly-boo asked the cat, who really must have thought that her owner was completely senile by now. "Usually he is here right at 8:45... but now it is nearly quarter-past nine, and he is nowhere to be seen! Why do you suppose this is, Pumpkin the Cat?"
Needless to say, the cat did not respond. Perplexed, Sparkly-boo walked towards the darkened window, hoping to see James' absolutely adorable little Mini Cooper sitting in the driveway. However, no car was in sight, except the white van that belonged to the really sketch neighbor across the street.
After an hour of really pitiful silence, James was still not at Sparkly-boo's house.
[The End. {Just once, I'd love it to go down like that. A stupid thing that's almost kinda like a plot that just abruptly ends wherever. (Developed characters and deep subplots. Psh. Who needs those?)}]
II. I was planning on a second part, but then I kinda gave up a little
Okay, maybe a lot. Uh... *looks around* I'm getting a retainer next Tuesday. It's going to be sparkly and purple. That's made your day so much better, right. Yeah. Uh... the "Devil's Toenail" is a fossil. Its in the phylum mollusca; order, pterioida; genus, gryphaea.
*Realizes this is never going to go anywhere and I should have probably planned this out a little bit better than I did*
... I'm gonna go now.
With all due respect,
House
xoxoxoxo
6LCF
