Cavities, Table Manners, and Reading Music

As you can tell from the title, today's post will have 3 parts. You may skip any of them, but they are all rather informative and interesting...may include rants though. I actually had 2 of the parts planned out before today. I'm so proud of myself :)

I. CAVITIES

Today, this poor little Curly Fry went to the dentist. She's always heard about people who hate dentist appointments, how much pain they go through, and how terrifying it is. This Curly Fry did not believe them. Cuz really, she had never gone through any pain at the dentist's! She gets her teeth cleaned ever 6 months like the good little girl that she is. But since her dentist's company got sold to a different one, they screwed up the whole entire schedule, and so the little Curly Fry's appointments went down the drain. A year and a half after her last teeth cleaning, she goes to get her teeth cleaned. Today. So she goes, and the dentist (or is it the dentist nurse? It's not Dr. Dentist, the real important one) asks her mommy if she's had an x-ray of her mouth in a while. The answer? No. Not in 4-5 years. But that's ok! Little Curly Fry gets an x-ray on the spot! Such good service. The dentist then says, "Open up, dearie," and so the little Curly Fry opens up her mouth. The dentist puts in a stick that has a pink plastic card thing on it to block the rest of the mouth from getting x-rayed. "Now, bite down," and the little Curly Fry bites down. She feels discomfort as the plastic thing is too big, and cuts into her mouth. That's ok, since she only needs to suffer through 4 more times. By the end of it, the little Curly Fry's mouth hurts a bit. But that's fine, since it's an x-ray precaution! Then the dentist tells her to lie down, and to "open up". Little Curly Fry does so, and the dentist proceeds to prod and poke around inside her mouth. After a little while, the dentist asks the little Curly Fry, "do you know what cavities are?" and the little Curly Fry says, "yes." The dentist then says, "what are they?" Of course, the little Curly Fry's brain chooses that moment to go blank and forget every single thing she has ever learned, and cannot answer. The dentist explains that cavities are holes in your teeth that is caused by your teeth decaying. Then she brings over a mirror, and tells the little Curly Fry to look into it, and then proceeds to start scraping off white stuff from the little Curly Fry's teeth. What is it? IT'S PLAQUE! PLAQUE! PLAQUE!!! *sob* The poor little Curly Fry has plaque all over her teeth, and to make it worse, the dentist is purposely humiliating the little Curly Fry by telling her to brush her teeth (as if she didn't) and to floss (well...) every day! She also says to brush your teeth for 2 minutes straight. Which is good advice. The little Curly Fry takes it to heart, and vows to start using a timer to time herself when brushing, oh, and to floss everyday (which, I am sure, every Curly Fry does). The dentist then shows that the little Curly Fry's gums are bleeding. This is a sign of infection. Too much plaque causes infection. This just reinforces the little Curly Fry's internal vows. After showing the little Curly Fry, the dentist begins to clean. Sorry, did the narrator just say "clean"? She meant torture. The poor little Curly Fry had to endure 45 minutes of absolute pain. The pointy, metal tools that the dentist used were used viciously to attack all the dirty parts of the little Curly Fry's teeth, painfully. Unlike before, the cleaning hurt terribly. By the end of it, she was hesitant to close her mouth, as that caused huge amounts of pain. The little Curly Fry prepared herself for the next part, and realized it was brushing. She felt so relieved! She enjoyed the feeling of the whirring toothbrushes that dentists always used. She especially liked the orange flavored toothpaste. But *gasp*! The dentist did not ask her which type of flavor she wanted! She just went ahead and used mint! MINT! The little Curly Fry was devastated, and soon also realized that the whirring of the toothbrush on her poor tortured gums was a horrid feeling of agony! At last, the visit to the dentist was drawing to a close, and she was so relieved, she could cry. That's when Dr. Dentist came in. The really important dentist that checks up on every patient at the end. She told the little Curly Fry, after fiddling around with the pointy, metal tools that the little Curly Fry had 2 cavities, and would need to fix it. The little Curly Fry felt like bursting into tears, she had not gotten cavities in 7 years! And this is the end of the poor little Curly Fry who went to the dentist, and found that it was not as pleasant as she remembered. The moral of the story? Brush your teeth for 2-3 times a day, 2 minutes each. Floss everyday. Otherwise, cavities and gum diseases shall appear in your life...

II. TABLE MANNERS

Ah, yes. A sub-topic of a thing called "etiquette". Something that this Curly Fry tends to ignore, unless she has company (grown-up/new people company). Something that House Curly Fry can go on for ages about. House is probably smiling in approval at this Curly Fry because of this part. There are several rules that one should follow when eating at a table (or in a car, on a tablecloth/picnic, etc.) for the good of everyone there. Here are the ones that I have compiled. Please note they are not in any specific order. They are listed as I think of them.

Rule Number 1. Eat with your mouth closed. It's quite disturbing (read: disgusting) when someone has their mouth wide open, and you can clearly see the mushed up contents of their meal. Besides, there is a greater possibility of your food falling out.

Rule Number 2. Don't talk with your mouth full. Something every parent has told their child(ren). It is in close relationship with #1, because again, it's strange (read: sickening) when someone is talking to you, and you can see their food, or what the food is becoming, or even the food tumbling out of their mouth and onto the ground, their lap, or even your lap.

Rule Number 3. Wipe your mouth on a napkin. NOT YOUR SLEEVE. I know there is the stereotype that Amuricans just swipe their arm across their mouth and then call it a day, but that's quite crude (read: gross). It won't kill you to reach over for a napkin, and wipe your mouth.

Rule Number 4. Wash your hands before you eat. It is not sanitary to eat with the hands (actually, you shouldn't eat with your hands, though that's next) that you just touched dirt with. Or perhaps you've been at school the whole day, and you've touched your desk, the doors, the walls, your locker, your pencil, the whiteboard, the computer, etc. Please remember that many other people have touched the things you've touched. If you were to eat the germs that are on those things, think of how atrocious that would be! For example, say someone had just scratched the inside of their nose, and some mucus had come detached, and the person had to wipe it somewhere. Somewhere like their desk. Say you sat at that desk, and your hand grazed the spot. Later on, you would be eating parts of the mucus from that person's nose.

Rule Number 5. Eat most foods with your utensils. There is a reason they were made. Do not eat rice, noodles, or soups with your hands. They are not meant to be eaten like that. Rice is meant to be eaten with chopsticks. If you do not have chopsticks, or you cannot use chopsticks (properly), eat it with a spoon, fork, or even a spork. Noodles are meant to be eaten with forks and maybe spoons. Use spoons to eat soups. Of course, there are exceptions, like curly fries. They are made for the person to use their hands to eat. Other exceptions include emergency situations, in which there are no utensils. If you are going to eat with hands, please read and follow Rule Number 4.

Rule Number 6. Use utensils the way they were made to be used. Do not hold a fork like a club. Do not hold the knife with the cutting part in your palm. You will hurt yourself, and you will feel pain. Do not use your spoon to flick peas or small food particles into flight. Do not hold chopsticks with two hands. Do not hold it in your fist. Do not insert chopsticks into your (or anyone's) nostril holes. Use one hand, and hold it like a pencil. Please ask someone who knows how to use chopsticks to help you or look at the diagram on the right.

Rule Number 7. Slurping, burping, squealing, singing, humming are all sounds that are not to be made at the table. Except for the cultures that do allow these (which does not include the USA), this one is self explanatory.

Rule Number 8. Talking is permitted, but certain topics are to be avoided at all costs. These topics include, but are not limited to: bowel movements, reproductive actions, non-reproductive actions that are closely related to said actions, diseases, and vomiting. Politics and religion are commonly in that list, but I think that people can deal with talking about these, as long as they aren't rude or obnoxious about it. Tolerance is good.

Rule Number 9. You do not need to shout at the table. Unless the table is extremely large (in which case, you should just wait until after the meal to talk to the person), people can hear you. They are not deaf. In the case that they are, shouting is useless. If the person is close to being deaf, speak next to their ear, at a low pitch, this helps their ears or hearing aids to pick up on what you are saying. This rule also helps the people at other tables who do not wish to know what you think of Justin Bieber, regardless of how important you may think your opinion is.

Rule Number 10. Please and thank you! House has gone over this, the rule applies to table manners also.

Rule Number 11. NEVER INSULT THE FOOD. If you don't like it after you've sampled (YOU MUST ALWAYS TRY IT), then don't eat it, but DO NOT say it was "disgusting", or go, "ewww". It is incredibly rude, and if you do, Lynda Curly Fry will hunt you down and stuff you with that food until you like it. Or learn to say you like it. GOT IT? (You can tell I despise people who do that)

Rule Number 12. Thank the chef, if you can. They did not need to go through with the effort. Unless you're at a restaurant, in which case, thanking the chef is still the polite thing to do.

III. READING MUSIC

This one shall be short, since my other 2 parts were so long. It's also somewhat of a rant, so prepare yourself.

IF YOU HAVE BEEN TAKING BAND/ORCHESTRA FOR MORE THAN 2 YEARS, YOU SHOULD KNOW, QUITE BLOODY WELL, HOW TO READ MUSIC! Honestly! I am just sick of the people in my Orchestra class that have been taking Orchestra for 4 years now, and still don't know what a flat looks like, or what "d.c. al fine" means, even though we've been playing pieces with that for 4 years!!!!

So here's a short rundown of the things that I've been completely shocked that people don't know about, including a couple basic tempos. And (excuse the religious phrase) dear god, if you don't know what "tempo" and "dynamics" mean (and you've been in band/orchestra for more than 2 years) you should just QUIT. Because obviously, you're not learning anything.

Flat - a sign (b) placed next to a note to show that it is to be lowered by a half-step, or a note that is lowered a half-step.

Diminuendo, also known as decrescendo-signifying that the volume of the notes under which it is placed should be smoothly decreased.

Key signature – One or more sharps or flats placed at the beginning the staff or at the beginning of a piece of music to show the key in which it is to be played. <--YES THIS IS AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SONG. IT CONTINUES THROUGHOUT THE PIECE. WHICH MEANS, YOU DON'T STOP PLAYING THAT F# UNTIL THE END OR UNLESS THERE'S A NATURAL!!!

Tie - A slur that connects two or more notes that are the same, in which you hold the value of all the notes. WHICH MEANS YOU DON'T STOP PLAYING, AND THEN STARE AT YOUR DIRECTOR LIKE AN IDIOT GOING, "WHA DAT MEAN?"

Natural - not sharp or flat: a sign (symbol) placed next to a note to show that it is neither sharp nor flat.SO YOU DON'T PLAY A SHARP OR A FLAT. AGAIN, YOU DON'T STOP PLAYING, AND THEN STARE AT THE DIRECTOR GOING "I IZ STUPID, SO I DON'T KNOW WHA DAT MEAN!"

D.C. al Fine - Written at the end of the piece, indicating that you should go back to the beginning (da capo), and play until you reach the place it says "Fine", which is the real end.

D.C. al Coda - Similar to D.C. al Fine, except you reach the place in the music where there is a coda sign, and then skip to the coda. D.S. al Coda is when you go back to the "sign" and then play til the coda sign and skip to the coda.

Allegro - fast

Andante - slow

f - loud

p - soft

I hope that was helpful. I also hope that it was unnecessary for you, because you already knew them.

AND THAT WAS THE END OF LYNDA'S EXTREMELY LONG POST. I hope you enjoyed it.

Please don't be disappointed if next week's isn't long. We're doing a "post parody" theme week, in which everyone is exchanging days to post, and no one knows who's parodying who, and we get to guess. Should be fun. Though I get the feeling whoever does mine will "rant" like an amateur <--meaning, they'll be like "I HATE MY LIFE BLAH BLAH BLAH" I do believe my rants are not like that. Mine are a lot less "emo". Oh well. We'll see, won't we?

Luv, Lynda